week 1

Size update:

bust: 35 LOSS OF 2.5 inches

boobs  41

waist 35

hips 41 LOSS OF 1 inch

l thigh 25

r thigh 24 LOSS OF 1inch

l calf  15

r calf 15 LOSS OF 0.5 inch

l arm 11 LOSS OF 0.5 inch

r arm 11.5

TOTAL LOSS : 5 inches 

(35 inches to lose, 30 to go! )

So it’s been 7 days of slimming world and 5 days of the 30 day shred. My energy is immense and surprising, I feel super healthy eating my veg and tend to feel sluggish if I don’t eat any. Perhaps the slimming world 1/3 plate mentality, but I’ve been great and topping up my veg to ensure I’m eating a shit load a day.

Sleep, I guess I have slept a bit better and deeper. Ive been allowing myself the 10 syns average a day and I’ve had a curly wurly (6 syns) and a squirt of salad cream at 2syns so Ive used 8 syns today already and it’s only 12.41. But I know why…I’m out of healthy snacks, Ive been feasting on apples, bananas and muller lights. So will ensure fridge is well stocked!!


Body image wise I can feel a difference already in my bust, below bust, my waist (especially at the back ) is more prominent and I can feel how tiny I WILL BE, in 12 weeks time…..nearly 11 now lol.  I’ve been buying clothes in a size 12 for Summer, that’s my 12 week goal. And I’m caning my arse to get there!! I’m walking everywhere! Even when offered a lift, I simply say no and muck on through it. I’ve been walking the dogs 2 times a day and aiming to walk to Hamilton and back at least 2 times a week.  I’ve half walked and half ran to Cheryl’s twice this week and it’s getting easier!!


water intake: I have been drinking like a fish besides yesterday when I only consumed approx 1.5 small bottles of water…but I did have coffee. I bought a coke zero today as a sweet fix but to be honest I haven’t drank more of a sip of it. I’m finding water quenches my thirst better.


Temptations. I’m finding the curly wurlys in the cupboard a huge temptation so I don’t think I’ll buy a pack of 4 next time.  Simply one at a time on the day I crave something chocolate. Means I have to take a walk to the shop too!! Prims school snacks have remained in the cupboard which is a first and promise has even been enjoying our healthy meals as much as me!

Alcohol, I drank last week on the Sunday night but not the usual amount. Simply about 4 gin and lemonades….which is a Huge improvement.


Aims for next week:

limit alcohol consumption

buy ONE treat as I desire them.

Ensure I have change for bananas and muller light throughout the week.

Drink at least 5 small bottles of water every day

jog twice a week to Cheryl’s and back

walk to town twice a week

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!! Fantastic first week and I’m so proud of me!!!!


It’s time…..for the last 7 years I have done nothing but pile on pounds…stones even!! So it’s turned my whole life from a confident bubble to something I want to hide from. So this post Is to follow my journey from fat bitch to skinnie Minnie….

Now the truth…in pictures… Brace yourself .

Bust: 41 aim 37 -4

Waist: 35 aim 30 -5

Hips: 42 aim 39 -3

Belly: 41

Calfs: 15/14.5 aim 12 -3

Arms: 11.5 aim 9 -2.5

Dating game

The truth of the matter is I have only ever been on one date. In fact I’m not even sure I can count that as a date…funnily enough it was with Mr arsehole. We had been sleeping together for a few weeks, months perhaps. In my mind, which was blissfully picturing wedding dresses and the day he comes back from sea and I run into his arms crying (yes this is a thing). So, yes, in my mind we were heading somewhere, and it was somewhere big. Deep down we had this inner connection, this understanding and he had invited me to his sisters house (she was indeed at sea, perhaps I should of put my eggs in her basket instead….she looked like she would at least appreciate my hug upon her return) ….a meal, he was making me a meal. I had been treated to a bottle of wine, clearly this was to romantasize the evening, not to make sure I’m easily pleased by his lack of cooking skills. So by the time dinner was cooking, I sat in the kitchen at the table, again blissfully picturing our future while he slaved over the stove, muscles popping through his shirt as he stirs the….it was a long time ago so I’m going to let you guess what he was stirring…(perhaps the emotions of all the women he had bedded that week) .

He served up a beautiful prawn cocktail, I mean it looked beautiful, I hate prawns. So I gently prodded the prawns around the plate as I guzzled my wine. Smiling. Thinking how incredibly lucky I am to have this hunky man all to myself. Just when I started to have double vision I glanced down and realised I had spilt all the prawns all over the table. This was the day I realised why men never took me out for meals.

This amazing and elegant evening ended with us lying in bed lovinly entwined, post coitus, sweat dripping off our bodies, hormones racing, love pouring from every one of  my glands, as he stared in my eyes and quietly said “you know bio oil is really good for stretch marks”



And so that is my only experience of a real date. Technically I’m not sure it can be classed as a proper date if you have previously fucked said man. Especially if it was in his bunk room on your lunch break, skirt hoisted up , which ended with a slap on the arse and the words “cheers for the ride hot stuff”…but no one is stealing my glory. I HAVE had one proper date.


And he called me hot stuff. How lucky was I.

I had time to think about this as the cum gently trickled down my leg as I strutted back to my desk.

Mistress or wife?

Sitting here 3 years to the day since my dad passed away. Suddenly. Abruptly. Choking for a cigarette whilst reminding myself that it’s an expensive habit and I simply can’t afford to Bow to it anymore. Rock songs playing in the background, I have this sudden and deep need to write.

So im officially in the last year of my 20’s and single, not so sure I’m unhappy but I certainly wouldn’t mind a handsome man to help me financially and snuggle up to (once a week) at night. Life may be easier with a man? Ew no can’t believe I considered that a good move! …delete…

Im amused by bad boys , thrilled by fast sex and thrive on false promises. I live for the thrill of the chase and I wonder why I sleep alone.

But the real question is, after the chase, do I really want the grand prize?

I wouldn’t know- its never happened.

I drink far too much gin, laugh loudly and walk proudly whilst I conceal a whole life of self doubt. In fact maybe not a whole life…I used to be full to the brim with self confidence. I started working for the Royal Navy as a civvy contractor at about 19 and it was there I learnt what life was about…swearing, drinking until you can’t walk and half days on Fridays. Obscene jokes. Commerardery  , a team, a family. And a constant supply of cock!

At 19 years old I was strutting in to work in my tight pencil skirt, low heels and a shirt tucked in above the waist. I walked with pride. They wanted me. I knew it. I looked good. I loved me. Flattery came from all angles and I had a few encounters and more longer term relationships during this role. Let’s start with Mr Arsehole, now Mr arsehole is well known for being a ladies man and well known for his talent in getting women to drop their knickers within hours of first hearing his charming chat. Mr arsehole was fit…this was his job. He wanted to make the women fit too….starting with a thorough fitness assessment,I passed, several times.

Im the type of girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and if there’s a story to be told I will feel a deep connection and fall deep and hard…which coincidentally is how their wife likes it.

Oh please…


I’ve had a long burning question that I ask every woman I meet…would you rather be the mistress or the wife? The mistress holds the power, she’s wanted but not needed. She’s fun and exciting but dispensable. She’s on his mind night and day but only responded to when possible.

The wife; the woman who has gained 3 stone since the wedding day, who’s most exciting idea is to take a drive and indulge in a blowjob whilst parked up where no one can see. She is blind, to the deceit, to the lies, to the fact that someone else was running their tongue down her husbands body 2 hours prior, their juices still surrounding his manhood.

But the wife will always hold the power, perhaps she is actually wise to his character and what he’s upto at the weekend. Perhaps she pictures you and her husband thrust up against a wall, breath pumping, bodies pushed so tight your ripping at each other’s clothes…and perhaps she smiles because you are merely borrowing him for a while, because she accepts him as he is. She gets off on his cheating ways and the power she has, the power that keeps him there, at her heel. She’s happy to accomodate someone else’s heel on his chest once a week for financial and life security. For a big spoon.


Big spoons are over rated. Get a hot water bottle….or a dog.

Even if just for the nights I have your man.